Happy Happy Happy

Despite all that I have been through I am pretty friggin happy with life right now. I am thankful for what I have everyday. I hate to sit and dwell on all of this. I would rather get past it and move on. I tried for a long time to act like I never had these things happen to me. I want to be normal, but what the hell is normal anyway? No one is normal lol. I guess this blog is a way of me facing it head on and getting over it.

I love to help people. I would do anything I can for the people I love. I think I am way too nice to some people who really dont deserve it at all. I can't be mean to anyone anymore since the stroke, believe me I have tried. lol That is the next thing i need to tackle but for now, I hope by writing this blog I can help more people.I hope it puts a new perspective on things for people. I hope it raises awareness about smoking and birth control.
I don't complain about my problems to anyone. I find it so funny when I hear people cry about the smallest things and I am like "hello, I think you guys are forgetting something." lol Well i guess i can't blame them. To them its a huge issue but to me its something I would just let roll right off my back. I wonder if thats because of the stroke? lol I love everyone in my life and if I could take away all of their pain and sorrow I would. Brianna and I were talking about what super power we would want if we ever could have one. I told her I wanted to heal people. She said "Thats a good super power, I just want to be able to fly." lol She is soooo sweet. <3 I am such a  lucky momma.


I have been having issues with my stomach lately. My whole right side feels like I am being stabbed. I went to the Dr and he sent me to the ER because he thought it was kidney stones (which I have also had before) or my appendix. Well listen to this, lol, the Dr in the ER sent me home saying that it was a ruptured cyst in my ovary. I have also had these before but the pain has never been like this. I have never felt the pain all the way by my belly button. So I got the report and the CD from the hospital to bring to my OB/GYN. She looked at the report and said "Yeah, I doubt it very highly that it was a cyst, go back to your primary." Around in circles i go.
I look at this report and see that I have a kidney stone in my left kidney, I have a cyst in my right ovary, I have 2 bulging disks in my back and I have something in my right lung. Awesome. So glad they decided a ruptured cyst was my biggest problem. lol
I go back to my Primary and he is sending me to a whol bunch of other Drs. Bills bills bills. Woot woot!
I guess its a waiting game now. Hopefully it doesn't ruin my birthday! lol

So where was I?
I think I left off at going into therapy. So I get into therapy and guess what happens? I got "laid off" while on medical leave. Thanks neuro for sending me a little too late. I spoke with the Dr who did my evaluation for therapy and she told me that the Dr was crazy for not sending me right away so my thoughts were confirmed.
I obviously couldn't continue therapy because it was 50 dollars a day 3 days a week. 150 dollars a week!!! How insane is that?? I guess I could probably get better if I could afford my therapy. What a shame that is, isnt it? I am not even going to tell you guys how much I pay for Cobra, or my meds. Its ridiculous.
It's funny, my boyfriend always tells me, if you need help just ask. I am here to help you. I never ask. I guess it's just the way I am. I also don't want to have to pay him back. lol I am sure he wouldn't make me if I couldn't but that is just not something I want to worry about.

ETA: Even though I love everyone, I dont have much sympathy for people who don't do anything to help themselves. I don't have much sympathy for people who complain and complain but do absolutely nothing about it. I don't have it in me anymore to feel bad for those types of people. I used to be one of those people. The stroke really has changed my way of thinking.